The Course of Lies
by Atoile
Summary: The change in Zim and Dib's relationship is shown in five lies that Dib tells Zim through the years. Meant as pre-slash or implied slash, but could be read as the development of a dysfunctional friendship.


A/N: My first completed fanfic in a number of years. Go me. No, I do not own Invader Zim, and we should all certainly thank _someone_ for that. The show wouldn't be nearly as good if I had been the one to create it.

Five Lies Dib told Zim

1.

Early on in their acquaintance Dib discovered that he rather enjoyed lying to Zim. It generally required neither effort not planning, as the alien could be surprisingly easy to manipulate.

Zim was, in many ways, a contradiction. Though paranoia was a dominant part of his psyche, Zim's suspicious nature was tempered by a certain inherent tendency to believe what he was told. This could in part be attributed to ignorance of earth culture, but was also largely a matter of blind belief.

The first time Dib took advantage of Zim's faith was on a class field trip to a local zoo. Despite the change in scenery it wasn't all that different from the classroom - Ms. Bitters, largely ignored by the students, snarled out dire prophesies about doomed animals, the children did as they pleased, and Dib grew bored. Noticing the wariness with which Zim eyed the lions, and searching to earn another point in their endless competition, he told Zim that the lions guarded a massively powerful bomb.

"The destructive power really is tremendous. It's too bad for you that the lions are there – they could tear you to pieces in a second. It must be _painful _to realize that even large felines are better than you," Dib taunted smugly.

"Worm child," Zim spat in return, glaring. "I can conquer _anything_ – no pathetic species on your _pathetically inferior_ planet is capable of defeating Ziiiiiiiiiim!" Zim's curious and notably foreign speech pattern drew a few stares from passing adults.

He pulled himself quickly over the railing, and fell into the lion enclosure. After a few seconds of terrified tension he turned back to Dib and gave a triumphant smirk.

The lions didn't take too kindly to him, after all. On the sidelines, Dib laughed until he was forced to lean against a nearby wall for lack of air.

2.

Zim tried to kill him (yet again) a week before they entered 7th grade. His plan was utterly lacking in finesse, and failed miserably in its purpose. However, it did yield a better result than most of Zim's plots – in this instance, Dib was left stranded in a local mall wearing only his underwear.

"Public exposure doesn't bother _me, __**Zim**_!" Dib shouted after him, adrenaline bolstering his body so that he could ignore his embarrassment and the gawking bystanders. He trembled with energy, anger, and suppressed shame. Dib became somewhat lightheaded; there was no bigger rush in _all the world_ than fighting with Zim.

Adrenaline made his thoughts run quicker, flashes of meaning and ideas not bound in word form. A scheme for payback emerged fully formed almost instantaneously. The battle wasn't lost _yet, _nor would it be, if he had his say.

"It's tradition for students to enter 7th grade wearing only their underwear, _anyway_." There was a lilt of anticipated triumph in his words, untraceable laughter that hovered subtly at the corners of his lips. "I'm getting in very good practice, _**Zim**_," he declared smugly, a challenge glinting in his eye. "And I _thank_ you for that. You slimy bastard."

Zim showed up to the first day of 7th grade in only his underwear, head held high and proud until he was driven from the room by his new classmates' taunts. Their sharp-edged laughter chased him as he fled.

At the back of the class Dib leaned back in his seat and _grinned_.

3.

In their 8th grade year Zim developed his first crush. Her name was Tonya. She was a quiet girl, unremarkable and not especially attractive, but she managed to capture Zim's attention nonetheless by virtue of being the only girl who didn't mock or shun him.

Zim's crush came as an abrupt and unpleasant surprise to Dib. Like waking up in bed to discover that a large black spider has taken possession of your pillow. Or waking up in bed to discover Zim pointing some sort of intimidating disintegration gun at you (and how sad was it, really, that that had happened three times before?).

It was a Monday in early March, and Dib had been anticipating a good battle. The weather was perfect for it – clear and bright with a slight chill rising from the frost-cracked earth. He had filled a compartment in his bag with water balloons, and he walked into their classroom half an hour before school started. The smirk on his face held slightly more of a smile to it than usual, as the morning truly was a beautiful one, and there was no better way to start off a day like this than with a battle that really got your heart racing.

Zim was already there. This wouldn't have been a problem, not really, but he wasn't alone, which _was_ a problem.

Dib walked in on them just in time to see Zim blushing – _blushing _– as he offered Tonya a bundle of wilting hand-picked flowers.

It was like waking up in bed to find yourself in a strange and frightening place you had never been before.

Dib swallowed and spun around, stalking from the room with eyes that sent even the usually violent bullies scurrying out of his path to let him past. The water balloons immediately ended up in the trash. For the duration of the day he was vicious and unapproachable, glaring and snarling at anyone who came within striking distance. Zim he ignored completely.

A couple days later he confided in Zim that a handful of mud in the face was a perfectly acceptable dating proposal. "It's rarely used, however," Dib continued as he leaned beside Zim's locker, "because it's a very specific sort of mud. Half pond-slime, half the sort of dark muck you get from a stable. The mixture is very rich with the potential for life, you see – when a boy throws _that_ sort of mud in a girl's face, it means that he respects her life wants to be a part of it. Highly symbolic, naturally…"

By now, Zim should have been easily able to detect when Dib was lying. He should have been fluent in earth culture. _He should have known better._

But the thing with Zim is that, quite often, he just doesn't learn. And though he had unbent slightly over the years, he still mostly resisted conforming to human customs, regarding that act as something akin to turning traitor. So when Dib told him something, quite often he believed it.

A couple days later Zim threw mud into Tonya's face. She slapped him before running off crying.

Watching Zim's expression, Dib felt a rush – half of the anticipated vicious pleasure and satisfaction, half (rather unexpectedly) of empathy and guilt. The last two emotions were rather foreign to him, especially in combination with Zim; he ignored them.

"Must not have been the proper ration," he murmured sympathetically.

In any case, it didn't work properly. At least not in the way he wanted it to. Tonya listened as Zim explained himself; she forgave him, and grew to resent Dib for his manipulations, and lies, and his possessiveness.

So they ended up together anyway, despite Dib's best efforts to the contrary.

4.

One summer evening when they were both rising sophomores, Zim went over to Tonya's summer house to prepare a special birthday present. There were candles – beautiful ones that smelled fantastic, like spring-rain in a forest. They fell, and the house went up in flames.

Dib lived near to Tonya, and he was one of the first people to arrive on the scene. The smoke seemed to make the imminent night come all the faster, as the dark curls ate away an impressive amount of the remaining sunlight.

"It's not your fault," he told Zim as they watched Tonya's house burn. "You weren't to know that their dog would knock the candles over."

(It _was_ Zim's fault, and he should have anticipated the dog. He knew that it had a tendency to run around like Gir, knocking things over on a frequent basis.)

"Nothing important was there, anyway. It's just their summer home."

(Some things that mattered _would_ be lost.)

Dib almost reached out to clasp Zim's shoulder. He didn't. The horrified look in Zim's eyes, bolstered by ample amounts of guilt and vulnerability, was fading as he clung to Dib's words. Just to make sure, he repeated the lie.

"It's not your fault."

5.

Seniors in High-Skool, now, and Dib had thought this would last forever.

"I'll be alright here," he said as the Irken ship whirled softly. Lights flashed on top of gleaming metal, illuminating scattered bits of the surrounding forest.

A few members of the Irken Empire stood nearby. The new Tallest, eager to distinguish himself from his predecessors and earn loyal followers, had sent them to provide Zim with a passage back home.

"You should go. You'll be happier with your own people. I'll be fine, really."

Fortunately, when it mattered, Zim didn't listen to him.

A/N: Reviews are, as always, much desired. Constructive criticism embraced with open arms.


End file.
